A gallant young Frenchman named Grandhomme
Was attempting a girl on a tandem.
At the height of the make
She slammed on the brake,
And scattered his semen at random

Here’s a cute little ditty:

Little pigeon in the sky,
Dropping (things) from way up high,
Angry farmer wipes his eye,
Very glad that cows don’t fly!

Sent by tilak

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last
requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to sca…

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher
commented that the next day would be the shortest day
of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited,
cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes,not the actual a…

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

A seamstress at Epping-on-Tyne
Used to peddle her tail down the line.
She first got a crown,
But her prices went down—
Now she’ll fit you for ten pence or nine.

At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking
at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.”

A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?”

“I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I
laughed at your dick’ cards?”

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took h…

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history…this
century’s history…We all lived in this century. I didn’t live in
this century.
— Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential
candidate during a news…

There was a young lady named White
Found herself in a terrible plight:
A mucker named Tucker
Had struck her, the fucker—
The bugger, the bastard, the shite!

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and…

Important Press Release:

The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now
fully Year-2000 compliant. In the light of this they have now renamed it
as: “Y2KY Jelly”.
Said a spokesman: “The main benefit of this revision to our …

VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

There once was a lass from Seattle

Who had a habit of sucking off cattle,
‘Till a bull from the south
Shot a load in her mouth…

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil
McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English
university and was living in the hall of residence with all the
other students there. After he had been there a month, his
mot…

Here is a look into ENGINEERING specs that is very interesting,
educational, historical, completely true, and hysterical all at
the same time:

The U.S. standard railroad gauge (width between the two rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly …

ON LAMENTATION
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

There was a young man of St. Giles
Who’d walked thousands and thousands of miles,
From the Cape of Good Hope,
Just to bugger the Pope,
But he couldn’t—the ponti…

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some
preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and
generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl
started laughing. The fellow asked …

The classically minded among us may have noted a new TV ad for
Microsoft’s Internet Explorer e-mail program which uses the
musical theme of the “Confutatis Maledictis” from Mozart’s Requiem.

“Where do you want to go today?” is the cheery line on the …